Archives for category: Work And Career

It’s tough sometimes dealing with the great weight of expectation of other people, especially if you are in the service industry. I find it hard because I strive to provide a good level of service but at times when I go to the best of my ability and to my knowing, things still go wrong at times.

It is only normal. People get disappointed with you. People get angry with you. People expect more from you. Guess this is not only in work but in all areas of life where there is human interaction. Dealing with the expectations of others is tough. It drains me at times. I find it a challenge.

Some times people just forget that I am just an agent. What I do is just to be the middle man between two parties. There is only a certain amount of things I can control. It shucks to have to be taken the blame when things go wrong. And as always, things do go wrong. Then the blaming comes.

I am not doing enough. I am not old enough. I am not giving a good level of service.

Everyone seem to expect so much.

Managing expectations is something I find hard. Very hard. Expectations lead to disappointment. Disappointments lead to anger. Anger leads to frustration. Frustration leads to a lack of motivation.

I think  that is the main reason why so many people quit in things halfway. Expectations. Really not easy. I am not whining. I guess I am just rambling about the human nature.

I constantly tell myself to cut myself some slack but it always seems easier said than done. Sometimes there is frustration in me because of this.

 

Expectation to myself.

Expectation from others.

 

So hard to reconcile.

 

I think the only wise thing to do is to let go of expectations. Expectations create disappointment.

But how do we go after things then ? Without expectations aren’t you like doing nothing ?

 

Would it be possible to want something without getting to attached to it?

 

Expectations are tough. I struggle to live up to them.

I am going to let out a secret today. It’s about the story of how I managed to decide to grab my life at it’s head and decide that it belongs to me.

We all have dilemmas where we are confused whether to follow our passions or to just simply follow what our parents/friends are doing. I faced the same situation 3 years ago.

I was in a situation where I was sure I didn’t want to go on a standard career path. I did not want to work in a big firm (I studied accountancy). Like all youths who are unclear about their life path, being confused is natural.

I spend about half a year thinking about changing careers.

I finally made my decision after listening to this John Mayer song. Listen to the lyrics carefully.  It tells of how John  wanted to follow his passion but his parents asked him to “stay inside the lines” or to play it safe. And also to rise above the “real world”, just “a lie you have to rise above”.  Really listen to it over and over again until you get his message.

It was because of this song that tipped to pursue my real estate career and to really find the thing that I really loved doing which is writing, as well as my other pursuits like Indian Philosophy and running.

Do share this song (and this blog post) with the people who you feel need to hear this song. This is a great song with a very deep message.

Thanks John.

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Lyrics

“Welcome to the real world”, she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I’d like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something’s better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there’s no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you’ve got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can’t find the answers
And all of our parents
They’re getting older
I wonder if they’ve wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something’s better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there’s no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible
As long as I’m alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there’s no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you’ve got to rise above

I just can’t wait til my 10 year reunion
I’m gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for

A loser is someone who doesn’t take time to question himself.

A loser is someone who have no idea where  they are going in life and just merely follows the social norm.

A loser is one who spends his entire lifetime playing it safe.

A loser is someone who goes to work on a Monday, counting down to a Friday; and spend the weekends drunk.

A loser is one who sees a really interesting girl to talk to at the bar but doesn’t have the guts to go over to speak to her.

A loser is one who never bother to find out what they love doing.

A loser is one who found out what he love doing but never take the time to do it, using excuses to justify why he shouldn’t do it.

A loser is one who spends his lifetime accumulating more stuffs, only to know that he doesn’t really “own” anything in his lifetime.

A loser is one who just spends his entire time with the same group of friends out of comfort.

A loser is one who never take time to hold interesting conversation.

A loser is someone who never takes time to learn.

A loser is someone who always believe that there is something better in the future, always striving for something better – believing therein lies happiness.

A loser is one who lets someone else tells them what success is like.

A loser is someone who focuses more on what other people think of them than on who they truly are.

A loser is someone who does everything his parents tell him to do.

A loser is someone who doesn’t dare to challenge authority.

 

 

P.s. No pun intended. All views are my own guidelines to live my life.

 

add another: A loser is someone who is not open to other people’s opinions.

It takes much time for us to discover what we truly are passionate about. 

Too many among us are not doing things with passion because we have hold on too much to the belief that money plays a very important part in our lives.

The great Indian teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti was once asked by a young man a question. The young man questioned him about doing that thing he loved but his father did not permit him. He was confused and went to Krishnamurti for advice.

Krishnamurti told him that if he really want to do something, do it. Do it with all your heart. If you have to leave your house, then be it. If you have to starve and beg, then let it be. He said it is so important for us to be really clear about what we want because the moment we are clear of what we want, things will happen for us. We just have to be sure about ourselves.

You see, most of us don’t. We cling on to the illusionary shores of security. We believe in the comfort that our family, friends and money gives us. So with that, we don’t follow our passions. We don’t do things with that kind of love and passion for it; we do it rather for something external. For money or for a sense of status.

Look at most of us and you see that many are just working to fulfill their sense of identity. Doing things with passion requires us to let go such false sense of security we have from the identity we have developed for ourselves.

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I have trouble the past few months really thinking about my writing career. I really feel that I could really give something really amazing in my writing career but deep down it just feel like I am a little afraid.

This means losing my identity.

I already feel so different from my college and high school friends. When we meet, I feel like my thinking is so different and that I am on a totally different path.

That is why part of me feels like I am in great need at my age to really form my own identity. I don’t want to get dragged into the comformist thinking of the medicore (no pun intended). I just want to know myself well. To really pursue those stuffs that matter to me.

I don’t want to be those people who spend so many years to go after something; only to realize it means nothing to them.

Now, I don’t mind if I have to live on a budget or have to feel weird when I am with my friend. I just want to do what I love doing and to express what I have within myself. Although because of this need I have felt very different from my peers, I will walk on the path of my own.

I am not keen on peers who try to force me on their path. I am developing my own path, my own thinking.

 

This I believe is imperative when we are young or not we would be easily slaughtered by society. 

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