Archives for category: Success

I haven’t been taking time to write for a long time. I would say that it has been almost half a year since I wrote a length post about a topic. During this period, I have been busy writing my book.

I have posted on this blog from time to time. However, most of them are just ramblings – writings which just come out directly from my heart. Most are short ones: updates about my life and the thoughts that run around my head on a consistent basis.

This would be a lengthier post because I feel the bliss of knowing that my book is finally done.

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Writing the book is a real learning process. It is an extremely valuable lesson in myself, what I love doing and how I come to look at my future. It is a very humbling process to know how tedious it is to write a book, however easy it is to read it.

I realize something valuable the past couple of days upon completion of my book. It dawn upon me that the end result of something isn’t truly important. In doing something, what’s most important isn’t the end result. Although we tend to work towards an end result, the result isn’t that important.

Trust me, it isn’t.

It took me almost a year to write, edit and learn about publishing books to get this book ready.

Rewind to a year back, knowing that I would be an author would be something that blow my mind away.

But now, it just seems something normal. I am not that excited anymore about it. Actually, I felt a bit down a few days ago because I didn’t understand why the excitement and motivation that I had a couple of months ago just seem to go away.

I realize that I have been caught up in this illusion: The Illusion of Happiness.

All of us get caught up in it from time to time.

The Illusion of Happiness is the belief that something in the future would make us feel better. It is the belief that when we have something or reached a certain situation; and then we will be happy.

We may believe that when we:

  • Buy that material item
  • Get that special someone
  • Reach a certain career goal
  • Gain the admiration of other people
  • Achieve our dreams
and then, we will be happy.

But it never does.

Things in the future never seem to make us happy. Never had, never will.

Even if you were to be happy from the achievement of something, it seems like the happiness is fleeting. You feel happy for a while. The next thing you know, you are looking for something else to make you ‘happy’.

This realization dawn upon me the importance of enjoying totally the steps towards something. It is the steps that matters, not the destination. Most of the time the destination seem to instead disappoint us.

I have learned to focus less on the future. I do make plans and such. But I am very flexible towards them. I also make sure that I do not invest my happiness in the future.

If I can’t be happy today, I won’t be happy tomorrow.

I have learned to be free from situations and circumstances. Happiness needs no reason. It has nothing to do with the past or the future.

Small steps. How many small steps have I took.

I was looking back and some of my weekly planning yesterday and realized that I take many small steps to be where I am now. A few months ago (around February), I made a decision to start writing a book.

Now, I am in the midst of publishing it already. What joy when you know you have put in hard work for a few months. I have no idea how this book will turn out. I am not anticipating a strong response or what not. I just feel it’s something joyful to do.

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I believe we all dream big too much but take too little action. Yes, do dream big but don’t waste too much time dreaming.

It is always better to take small steps. Small baby steps.

I sometimes look back at the things that happened in my life and feel that without those situations happening, I would be a totally different person. Sometimes certain events might seem small, but they totally take you to a different direction.

I realize something: We fail at certain things isn’t because we aren’t good enough, but rather we are not mean’t for them. I think the Higher Power (I don’t use the word GOD) has a way of showing that he wants the best for us. It doesn’t want us to settle for good. It want us to settle for great. Whether or not we listen to our Higher Power is up to us.

I look back at what I wrote a few months ago and realize that my decisions brought me to where I am now. I am doing what I love and embarking on a lifestyle I want.

It takes many small steps for me to be where I am now.

This is what I learnt in a nutshell about taking small steps:

  • Dream Big, but not all the time
  • Break down your dream into a few tasks
  • Break down the tasks to another small tasks
  • Break it down again
  • Break it down again
  • Break it down again
  • Take small action
  • Measure how you are doing
I believe that if you get something easy, it’s just not worth having. Hate to say it, but we only appreciate things we work long (not hard!!) for.

It’s been a few years already since I started working and making money. At the moment, my income isn’t as consistent as I want it to be. However, I feel like I am working towards something that I want.

That to me is sufficient.

The transition from college to working is about the biggest transition one would have to take. It takes time to be clear about what you want to do. This period is an extremely life-changing period although not many people realize it. How you look at making money changes the way you look at work and life as a whole.

I think the biggest blessing that I have is that I am pretty clear about what I want at my age. This to me is my biggest blessing.  With all honesty, I haven’t reach a stage where I am happy with the money that I am making. I feel like there is much to improve on with what I have to learn and the additional effort that I have to put in.

The past two years have been difficult with the confusion and questions that often arise from my path of being in my career. I am currently a freelance writer and a real estate agent. I have been offered at least 10 jobs but haven’t even considered one. That is the extent of my stubbornness. I haven’t even wrote a resume/CV before but I have got that many job offers.

I believe that those job offers are devils in disguise. Many of my friends think that I am stupid to reject those offers in favor of my uncertain career and income.

Frankly speaking, the more I think about it the more I realize that a job really is a deterrent from  pursuing many things in life. The thing about not having a permanent job is that it frees myself to pursue other opportunities that come my way.  I have entered businesses and lost money but I gain great lessons that may be invaluable.

I realize that those people who are working for others will never understand what it means to start up a business. Starting up a business is totally different from working with others. The amount of responsibility that you face is tremendous. It is not for anyone. I have learned that you need a certain kind of character to start up a business.

These are the things that I have learned in a nutshell:

  1. Be clear about what you want. I think this is the most important thing you will learn. You need to work towards what you want. Other people go after things that they want. Some people want to make a lot of money, others want financial independence while some want to contribute to others. What everyone wants is different.  I am not saying that someone who wants to make a lot of money is worse than someone who wants to contribute to others. What I am asking is if what you are working towards is something you want or because other people want it.
  2. Consider a simple life when you are young. I think my ability to try different things and not be tied up to a certain job stems from my simple lifestyle. I don’t spend excessively on unnecessary items. I think I spend more in college than after college. With simplicity, comes freedom.
  3. Being dependent on parents isn’t a bad thing. This is one of the hardest thing for me to accept. I see so many of my friends want to step away from their parents just because they are able to. This allows you to really explore great things about yourself and what you love. To step away from your parents is great but bare in mind that in many situations, parents don’t really need for you to step away from them. Keep your lifestyle simple and you may be able to try many things.
  4. The early twenties are the best time to set up a business. You don’t need experience to set up a business. If experience is really needed, companies like facebook, apple and microsoft would never be created. Age is really just an excuse. Your early twenties are a period where you have little to no commitment. You have the world at your feet.
  5. Don’t get a job if you don’t really need one. This will be a controversial one. Getting a job limits you in ways you can never imagine. It limits your choices tremendously. I know some people have financial issues and such but let me post a question to you: Do you have financial issues and struggle to survive because of  your lifestyle or because of your daily needs? There is a difference between a financial issue caused by struggling to have meals everyday and one caused by your lifestyle of having a car you can’t afford and your meals at TGIF.
  6. If you are into business, find for a business you believe in. A business that you believe in helps you. You will work harder. You have this deep conviction that it is a good product/service etc.
  7. Be careful with who you mix with. This is so blardy important that words can’t even describe. I have trouble mixing around with my working friends because to them, what they look forward to are drinks on a friday night or getting a new handphone. What drives me at present is to set up a location-independent business, not in trying to keep up with the Jonases. Frankly, I feel slightly withdrawn when I am with them.
  8. Be used to uncertainty. There is a certain kind of wisdom when you learn to be uncertain about things. When you do something that you never thought you will, you expand in ways you never imagine. At first it feels awkward, after sometime you realize you become a different person.

Time really flies when you are working. They say that your twenties are your fastest decade in your life. I have already lived two years of it.

At times I feel like I am not really working. I feel like I am looking for ‘playgrounds’ I can enter into to make money.

Seriously, really consider what I say about the job part. A job is about the worst thing you can do to your life. It’s a short term cure to a long term problem.

I am not that successful financially yet without having a job but I think success is really relative. Moreover, who knows what would happen in a few years time?

Things aren’t going as well as I want it to be two weeks ago. I felt lost. I didn’t know where I am going all of a sudden.

I think to a certain extent this started when I start comparing myself with some of my friends who are in steady jobs. We were out hanging out for drinks when they all seem to have a steady and certain lifestyle. They seem to be doing steady while I am still in this part of my life of uncertainty and unknowingness.

I chose it that way, upon further reflection.

I chose this uncertain lifestyle. But sometimes I forget that I chose this lifestyle. I forget that I chose to be a writer and someone who works from home. I forget that I chose to not have a full-time job which pays a steady income. I chose it myself.

But in that comparison with other people, I become uncertain. I am not in their path of things. I felt like I was left behind. Comparisons just make myself bad.

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It is after that few days of feeling down and lost that I realize that I am actually doing what I wanted.

I needed some time to find the blessing. To understand why I am on a certain path. Why I choose to be a writer. Why  I choose to be a real estate agent. Why I choose to start up my own businesses.

I think I fail to see the blessing in my choices of wanting freedom and an avenue to express. Mixing around with my friends dragged me down. I am not saying that they are bad or judging them, but what we want is just different.

I want:

  • Control over my life
  • The ability to express
  • Not following a certain schedule
  • Just doing things for the sake of it

I need constant reminder on the blessing of those choices that I make. As for now, I am just floating around feeling blessed. Blessed with a sense of doing what I love and just having the courage to pursue them.

Fark comparison. I’m doing great. Call me stubborn, I don’t care.

 

 

p.s. I hate grammar. I hate my book being edited by grammar people and being known that I have plenty of grammar mistakes. Writing should be an avenue of expression.

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