Archives for category: Mindset
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Facing Doubts

May 4, 2012 //
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As a grow older, I have realized that doubts are a natural tendency for anyone.

The mind is great at creating doubts. The easiest way to feel doubtful is to start thinking about the future incessantly. Think about what you want, the future you want to have and so on. Focus on the future and attach to it is doubt.

The mind loves creating future ideals because it feels more secure. When you focus on the future, the mind feels more important. The ego constantly looks for ‘ideals’ to add to it’s identity. One of the main ways is to create an identity in the future.

In the future, I would be ….

In the future, I would be a millionaire.

In the future, I would meet someone lovely and fall in love.

In the future, I would achieve this and that.

 

The incessant identity creating is because my mind is afraid of the present. All minds are afraid of the present because it strips of everything. When you are in the present, you have no past or future. You are nobody.

I realize how much I have been holding onto my identity and the goals I want to achieve. I have yet to learn to let go of them for good and for that I constantly have doubts.

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It has been a very doubtful day for me today. The weird thing is that I have this ‘mind’ before. A mind which is doubtful about my ability to achieve. I want this. I want that.

Can I do it? What if I can’t do it? Am I wasting my time? Wouldn’t I be stupid if I were to waste so much time only to realize it won’t work out?

The doubtful mind finds fault with the future.

I hear that the cure for this is positive thinking. I always had a hard time with positive thinking because when I have positive thoughts, it will be only a matter of time before I have negative thoughts. I have therefore stripped all that need for positive thinking.

I have rather embraced ‘acceptance thinking’. I accept my thoughts as it is. If I feel doubtful, I allow myself to feel doubtful. I know that it will pass. Fighting it will be useless.

Like any other thing in life, accepting it goes a long way towards progress.

Categories Emotions, Mindset, Thoughts

The Illusion Of Happiness

February 7, 2012 //
0

I haven’t been taking time to write for a long time. I would say that it has been almost half a year since I wrote a length post about a topic. During this period, I have been busy writing my book.

I have posted on this blog from time to time. However, most of them are just ramblings – writings which just come out directly from my heart. Most are short ones: updates about my life and the thoughts that run around my head on a consistent basis.

This would be a lengthier post because I feel the bliss of knowing that my book is finally done.

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Writing the book is a real learning process. It is an extremely valuable lesson in myself, what I love doing and how I come to look at my future. It is a very humbling process to know how tedious it is to write a book, however easy it is to read it.

I realize something valuable the past couple of days upon completion of my book. It dawn upon me that the end result of something isn’t truly important. In doing something, what’s most important isn’t the end result. Although we tend to work towards an end result, the result isn’t that important.

Trust me, it isn’t.

It took me almost a year to write, edit and learn about publishing books to get this book ready.

Rewind to a year back, knowing that I would be an author would be something that blow my mind away.

But now, it just seems something normal. I am not that excited anymore about it. Actually, I felt a bit down a few days ago because I didn’t understand why the excitement and motivation that I had a couple of months ago just seem to go away.

I realize that I have been caught up in this illusion: The Illusion of Happiness.

All of us get caught up in it from time to time.

The Illusion of Happiness is the belief that something in the future would make us feel better. It is the belief that when we have something or reached a certain situation; and then we will be happy.

We may believe that when we:

  • Buy that material item
  • Get that special someone
  • Reach a certain career goal
  • Gain the admiration of other people
  • Achieve our dreams
and then, we will be happy.

But it never does.

Things in the future never seem to make us happy. Never had, never will.

Even if you were to be happy from the achievement of something, it seems like the happiness is fleeting. You feel happy for a while. The next thing you know, you are looking for something else to make you ‘happy’.

This realization dawn upon me the importance of enjoying totally the steps towards something. It is the steps that matters, not the destination. Most of the time the destination seem to instead disappoint us.

I have learned to focus less on the future. I do make plans and such. But I am very flexible towards them. I also make sure that I do not invest my happiness in the future.

If I can’t be happy today, I won’t be happy tomorrow.

I have learned to be free from situations and circumstances. Happiness needs no reason. It has nothing to do with the past or the future.

Categories Emotions, Happiness, Mindset, Motivation, Success, Thoughts

Teeny Weeny Itsy Bitsy Steps

November 1, 2011 //
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Small steps. How many small steps have I took.

I was looking back and some of my weekly planning yesterday and realized that I take many small steps to be where I am now. A few months ago (around February), I made a decision to start writing a book.

Now, I am in the midst of publishing it already. What joy when you know you have put in hard work for a few months. I have no idea how this book will turn out. I am not anticipating a strong response or what not. I just feel it’s something joyful to do.

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I believe we all dream big too much but take too little action. Yes, do dream big but don’t waste too much time dreaming.

It is always better to take small steps. Small baby steps.

I sometimes look back at the things that happened in my life and feel that without those situations happening, I would be a totally different person. Sometimes certain events might seem small, but they totally take you to a different direction.

I realize something: We fail at certain things isn’t because we aren’t good enough, but rather we are not mean’t for them. I think the Higher Power (I don’t use the word GOD) has a way of showing that he wants the best for us. It doesn’t want us to settle for good. It want us to settle for great. Whether or not we listen to our Higher Power is up to us.

I look back at what I wrote a few months ago and realize that my decisions brought me to where I am now. I am doing what I love and embarking on a lifestyle I want.

It takes many small steps for me to be where I am now.

This is what I learnt in a nutshell about taking small steps:

  • Dream Big, but not all the time
  • Break down your dream into a few tasks
  • Break down the tasks to another small tasks
  • Break it down again
  • Break it down again
  • Break it down again
  • Take small action
  • Measure how you are doing
I believe that if you get something easy, it’s just not worth having. Hate to say it, but we only appreciate things we work long (not hard!!) for.
Categories Mindset, Motivation, Success, Thoughts

Transitional Period

October 16, 2011 //
0

Perhaps, things are already pre-planned for us. We just don’t realize it because of our need to control things.

I find myself constantly creating the future without even realizing. Things seldom work out as we want them to. It’s either it doesn’t work out according to the timing we want or to how we want it to be. It’s not negative though. It’s something which I learn to adapt over time.

I feel I am in a transitional period.

Things have been pretty great the past few weeks and I have been learning more about myself. I reflected on the things that have happened since a few years ago and realize how much I have changed. I faced the loss of a close friend, being depressed to a certain extent and even finding it hard to wake up in the morning being positive.

Those were just a few years ago.

Now, here I am. Developing my career doing what I love doing. Doing things that I never thought I will have done. Doing it just for the sake of it. For me, that is sufficient.

Writing has really changed me. My transition into being a freelance writer is something which is scary because I didn’t know what to expect. Friends around me were in secure jobs which paid well and had multiple benefits while I am scraping by at times doing it.

For now, it has been a great few months and I even have a book in the pipeline. I guess  you will never know what happens. Transitions are for the better I guess.

 

Categories Happiness, Mindset, Motivation, Thoughts
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