Archives for category: Happiness
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Finding The Blessing

September 8, 2011 //
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Things aren’t going as well as I want it to be two weeks ago. I felt lost. I didn’t know where I am going all of a sudden.

I think to a certain extent this started when I start comparing myself with some of my friends who are in steady jobs. We were out hanging out for drinks when they all seem to have a steady and certain lifestyle. They seem to be doing steady while I am still in this part of my life of uncertainty and unknowingness.

I chose it that way, upon further reflection.

I chose this uncertain lifestyle. But sometimes I forget that I chose this lifestyle. I forget that I chose to be a writer and someone who works from home. I forget that I chose to not have a full-time job which pays a steady income. I chose it myself.

But in that comparison with other people, I become uncertain. I am not in their path of things. I felt like I was left behind. Comparisons just make myself bad.

*********

It is after that few days of feeling down and lost that I realize that I am actually doing what I wanted.

I needed some time to find the blessing. To understand why I am on a certain path. Why I choose to be a writer. Why  I choose to be a real estate agent. Why I choose to start up my own businesses.

I think I fail to see the blessing in my choices of wanting freedom and an avenue to express. Mixing around with my friends dragged me down. I am not saying that they are bad or judging them, but what we want is just different.

I want:

  • Control over my life
  • The ability to express
  • Not following a certain schedule
  • Just doing things for the sake of it

I need constant reminder on the blessing of those choices that I make. As for now, I am just floating around feeling blessed. Blessed with a sense of doing what I love and just having the courage to pursue them.

Fark comparison. I’m doing great. Call me stubborn, I don’t care.

 

 

p.s. I hate grammar. I hate my book being edited by grammar people and being known that I have plenty of grammar mistakes. Writing should be an avenue of expression.

Categories Consciousness, Emotions, Happiness, Ideas, Success, Thoughts

Attachment And Desire

August 30, 2011 //
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The best way for me to be miserable is when I start to sit down and think about what I want. Whenever I sit down to think about what I want is the period where I realize  that I want to be somewhere else.

I may want to achieve this and that.

I think such thinking ultimately makes you unhappy. I know there are people who tell me that to want things is not bad or life is abundance or so on. You know, all those self development stuff.

But is it really? Do we really need to constantly want stuffs?

The happiest moments of my life are moments where I feel I don’t need anything. Where I am whole just in the moment. These moment are amazing times where I just live in the now and do my daily activities with no expectations and just allow myself the space to do my work productively.

The Buddha said that what causes suffering is desire. When we have a certain desire, we ultimately suffer.

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This writings are inspired by my morning meditation.

I was writing in my journal yesterday about what I want where I realize that it causes a certain friction in me. I think this process of writing what I want is just a process to find out what’s missing in my life.

And then when I think about it, nothing really important is missing in my life. I don’t really need anything. I have more than enough of anything. Why the hell am I looking for more things in life?

Then some people would question me back that I am not improving myself and I am overly-contented.

I have learned to let people be who they are. Everyone is free to be who they are.

We are all free to live according to how we view the world. I don’t want to live incessantly focusing on what I don’t have in life. It irritates me when I start thinking about it.

I want to start feeling grateful for the many great things that I have. I am still on this journey of discovery. Always learning. I am allowing myself space to express.

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Categories Happiness

Taking Risks

August 23, 2011 //
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I think we don’t get anywhere worthy without taking risks. I realized this in the process of writing my book.

I felt like I was taking a big risk with writing that book. To a certain extent, I was worried about the reception the book will have. I am afraid that I have wasted my months writing the book with a poor feedback.

Writing that book is fun and challenging, no doubts about that. But it is risky.

I stopped working on my real estate and freelance writing in order to finish the book. It’s hard to explain the degree of uncertainty that I have to go through. I fear like whether my savings would be enough to sustain me or whether I would be wasting my time on writing that book and it ends up as crap.

I think about it a lot.

*******

Taking risks is important. Taking risks implies that we are willing to change. Taking risks are scary because it implies that we want to change.

Risks come in many forms. It may come in asking a girl out on a date, changing careers, in finding what we love, in having our own viewpoints. Anything that is worth doing usually comes with a tremendous amount of risk.

If you are afraid of taking risk, then perhaps  you aren’t doing anything worth talking about in the first place.

Perhaps you are so busy trying to be secure. Being in the comfort of your surroundings and the money that you make each month.

I find not having a monthly consistent income very helpful. It makes me not in this whole cycle. I don’t like being in a cycle.

I am a risk taker. I do what I love.

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Categories Happiness, Mindset, Success, Thoughts

Stop – Think – Focus

August 14, 2011 //
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I have developed this tendency to take some time off constantly in my life to think. I think it’s imperative that I do that – to just think where I am and where I want to go.

The divinity in every single day often go unnoticed because we don’t take time to think. For me, I actually SCHEDULED my thinking time. Usually it’s on a Sunday or a mid-week day (i.e Weds). This is very important for people like me who constantly needs to know where am I going.

My thinking time is scheduled.

It is my time to shut down all distractions and to focus on myself. I take this time to sit down and feel any resistance I have for the moment. Sometimes we have a lot of resistance towards something but we don’t address them.

Perhaps its just a simple drawing-back from doing something or towards someone. Life gives us this subtle hints but sometimes we become too busy to realize them.

My thinking focuses on a few things. I will briefly outline them:

  • Where am I doing?
  • What steps have I taken already? Where am I on the journey there?
  • Is what I am going for really worthy? It is really important to me?
  • Are there any resistance within me?
  • What I need to do more?
  • What have I learned?

 

When I step back and think, I find myself having many false wants. Things that I thought I wanted but I didn’t really want to.

I guess the universe has a special way to getting what you want – it skrews up what you have worked on. It skrews up what you think you want so that you can go after what you really want.

Sometimes, life skrews up a relationship so you can have another relationship or simply to make you appreciate the relationship better.

Life skrews up your career, so you can have a more fulfilling career.

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The universe works in mysterious ways. It changes so rapidly. I change so rapidly.

I see the change in me and I know I will be a different person in no time. I wonder why some people don’t change as much as me.

Perhaps, its because I don’t focus on holding onto who I am. I allow change to happen to me, while many people want to constantly be the same person.

Stop for a moment.

Think about things.

Focus on what’s important.

 

That’s my way. It keeps me alive and going day to day. 

Categories Happiness, Thoughts
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