Archives for category: Happiness
« Older Entries

The Illusion Of Happiness

February 7, 2012 //
0

I haven’t been taking time to write for a long time. I would say that it has been almost half a year since I wrote a length post about a topic. During this period, I have been busy writing my book.

I have posted on this blog from time to time. However, most of them are just ramblings – writings which just come out directly from my heart. Most are short ones: updates about my life and the thoughts that run around my head on a consistent basis.

This would be a lengthier post because I feel the bliss of knowing that my book is finally done.

**********

Writing the book is a real learning process. It is an extremely valuable lesson in myself, what I love doing and how I come to look at my future. It is a very humbling process to know how tedious it is to write a book, however easy it is to read it.

I realize something valuable the past couple of days upon completion of my book. It dawn upon me that the end result of something isn’t truly important. In doing something, what’s most important isn’t the end result. Although we tend to work towards an end result, the result isn’t that important.

Trust me, it isn’t.

It took me almost a year to write, edit and learn about publishing books to get this book ready.

Rewind to a year back, knowing that I would be an author would be something that blow my mind away.

But now, it just seems something normal. I am not that excited anymore about it. Actually, I felt a bit down a few days ago because I didn’t understand why the excitement and motivation that I had a couple of months ago just seem to go away.

I realize that I have been caught up in this illusion: The Illusion of Happiness.

All of us get caught up in it from time to time.

The Illusion of Happiness is the belief that something in the future would make us feel better. It is the belief that when we have something or reached a certain situation; and then we will be happy.

We may believe that when we:

  • Buy that material item
  • Get that special someone
  • Reach a certain career goal
  • Gain the admiration of other people
  • Achieve our dreams
and then, we will be happy.

But it never does.

Things in the future never seem to make us happy. Never had, never will.

Even if you were to be happy from the achievement of something, it seems like the happiness is fleeting. You feel happy for a while. The next thing you know, you are looking for something else to make you ‘happy’.

This realization dawn upon me the importance of enjoying totally the steps towards something. It is the steps that matters, not the destination. Most of the time the destination seem to instead disappoint us.

I have learned to focus less on the future. I do make plans and such. But I am very flexible towards them. I also make sure that I do not invest my happiness in the future.

If I can’t be happy today, I won’t be happy tomorrow.

I have learned to be free from situations and circumstances. Happiness needs no reason. It has nothing to do with the past or the future.

Categories Emotions, Happiness, Mindset, Motivation, Success, Thoughts

I am an Extremist

November 13, 2011 //
0

I have a confession to make.  I suck at balance. I have trouble being a balanced human being.

I always here from these happiness guru or some self-improvement book about the importance of balance in life. I buy into none of them. I don’t thing balance is a possible avenue.

If you have balance in your life, I think  you are pretty much doing an average job in your work. Balance is the art of being average in many areas.

I always here people telling me about how it is important to strike a balance between having a career, a group of friends, family and relationship. I think it’s totally impossible though. Probably I’m just not good at it.

I find that the real way to learn things is to give it all. That’s the only way to learn things well: To give it all. Go to the extremes. Balance doesn’t make sense to me.

If you feel you want to excel in a range of things, you can’t. Excelling in a range of things isn’t my way. I can’t have a sustained focus on a range of things. It’s way too hard for me. I prefer to focus on things one by one.

Right now, I can say that I am focusing totally on my career. This time is the best time for focus on my career. Not just a career that makes me good money, but on something that allows me to have a passion for it. In the long run, the only way to make money sustain-ably is to do it with passion.

I learn more when I go to the extreme. I learn that when I give my all in my work, in friendships and in relationships. I have periods where I worked 18 hours a day. I have periods where I was mixing around like crazy to the point where I was going out almost every single moment. I live on extremes. Balance is boring.

I will continue with my extreme ways. It’s my way in life. Balance isn’t for me. Never had. Doubt it will.

 

Categories Happiness, Thoughts

Transitional Period

October 16, 2011 //
0

Perhaps, things are already pre-planned for us. We just don’t realize it because of our need to control things.

I find myself constantly creating the future without even realizing. Things seldom work out as we want them to. It’s either it doesn’t work out according to the timing we want or to how we want it to be. It’s not negative though. It’s something which I learn to adapt over time.

I feel I am in a transitional period.

Things have been pretty great the past few weeks and I have been learning more about myself. I reflected on the things that have happened since a few years ago and realize how much I have changed. I faced the loss of a close friend, being depressed to a certain extent and even finding it hard to wake up in the morning being positive.

Those were just a few years ago.

Now, here I am. Developing my career doing what I love doing. Doing things that I never thought I will have done. Doing it just for the sake of it. For me, that is sufficient.

Writing has really changed me. My transition into being a freelance writer is something which is scary because I didn’t know what to expect. Friends around me were in secure jobs which paid well and had multiple benefits while I am scraping by at times doing it.

For now, it has been a great few months and I even have a book in the pipeline. I guess  you will never know what happens. Transitions are for the better I guess.

 

Categories Happiness, Mindset, Motivation, Thoughts

My Problem With Choices

October 11, 2011 //
0

I have this bulging problem with choosing things. I dislike the process of choosing something, especially when I have a wide variety of choices.

It is simply not in my personality to have many choices.

I just came back from a book warehouse sale and frankly, I have a headache because of the wide variety of choices. No doubt, those books are dirt cheap but I didn’t like to have too many choices.

My iPhone have a few essential apps.

I prefer to go to restaurants which has a few choices on their menu.

I love lifestyles where other people decide the minor things in my life while I focus on the more essential.

I just don’t like choices. It irritates the hell out of me because it makes me feel like I need many things. I think this is a personality thing.

Given a choice (ironic choice of word), I would want a life where everything minor gets done for me. I don’t care too much what I eat. I don’t care too much where I stay. I don’t want to be bothered with the mortgage or so on.

I want a simple happy life just doing what I love.

Choices irritates me. I prefer a simple life, free from making an excessive amount of choices.

Categories Happiness, Thoughts
« Older Entries
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.