After a certain period of time, events that happened will give you the lessons that you need to learn. I have learn plenty in the past few months, without realizing.
I realized that:
(1) Criticism are normal parts of life. I learn this tremendously in the past two months. I find it difficult to accept criticism because I feel personally offended. Like when I put in so much effort into writing a book and someone just comes and push it aside. Egoistically speaking, I feel destroyed.
But this is normal. You put in so much effort into something and you expect to be appreciated. However, life doesn’t goes that way. People will find faults with your hard work. People will be mean. Some do it out of kindness, some out of disillusionment.
(2) I like a job where I just express myself. Writing by itself has become my therapy. I express my thoughts without caring at all what happens. I put it down on paper without giving a fuck about what happens next. I don’t plan how I write. I just write.
Those who condemn other people’s writing are just people pleasers who find it hard to express their true feelings. I believe this is why editors will always become editors and not writers. They are used to judging other people’s work so much that they don’t dare put in a word into writing. They fear being condemned.
(3) When one door closes, another door opens. I have been staring at many close doors for a few years. I wasted a lot of time staring at them, believing that one day, the door will suddenly open.
Things are not like that though. When a door is close, rarely will it reopen. I know there are people who believe in things like perseverance and that if you stand on closed door long enough, it will eventually open. But sadly, I am not one of them. I believe door that we are meant to enter are wide open for us to enter. Not one which we need to wait for it to open.
Stop staring at closed doors, or even half-open doors. Life’s too fucking short.
(4) You need friends who trust in you. I have this problem with friendships which are shallow. I used to have heaps of friends. A few years back, I was always going out, meeting people, having drinks and all those social stuffs.
My social calender was packed with such activities. As I grew older, such mindless meetings mean nothing significant to me. I hate going out in big groups because conversations tend to be shallow and pathetic.
I prefer friendships which are close and meaningful. Frankly, I don’t have many of them now. But I rather choose having a few friends than having many mindless friends.
Friends who trust in you allow you to be open and honest about yourself. And the most important person to be honest to, is yourself. You can lie to the entire world, but always be honest with yourself.
(5) Have a fucking spine, for god-sake. It’s so easy to be pushed around in this world by the opinions of others. God knows how much time you waste listening to people who tell you all those negative stuffs.
You’re not worthy. You’re not beautiful. You’re pathetic. You’re wasting your time.
Develop a spine so you can push them aside. You need character to live a fulfilling life. Be a fucker if you have to. I respect fuckers who refuse to live anything other than the life they imagined to life. And to be able to do that, you have to be a real bad-ass person (in the eyes of some people, at least.)
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Ending Notes
I realize I would be turning 23 this year. God-knows where I am going career-wise.
I know what kind of lifestyle I want already. I want a location-independent lifestyle which allows me to travel. Working my ass off to be able to achieve it.
Isn’t something conventional. Feel it’s a real challenge. Hopefully it’ll be worth it.
