Archives for category: Creativity
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Do I Have A Life?

May 19, 2012 //
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I often find myself in this dilemma. I wonder if I do “have a life” – that kind of life which other people think is hip or cool. Something like that. That kind of life where you have a vibrant social life and doing all the best things in life. You know, those cool things in life which you ought to do, or at least, want to be doing.

In that aspect, I don’t have a life. I don’t have a stable social life at the moment. Frankly, I am not interested to mix around not because I am anti-social. I’m just afraid that I will lose myself when I over-socialize. Losing myself means losing the identity of who I am – being someone because other people want me to be something else. I see this often in people in relationships or people who are in a group of friends. They place their focus on trying to please other people or adopt the beliefs that other people have to a point that they don’t know who they are and what they want.

Frankly, I am very scared of that.

That fear is so great that very often, I find it hard to mix with my friends. I’m not ready for that. I think the worst thing in life isn’t when you are broke or sick; it’s when you lose yourself.

Imagine the feeling where you totally have no idea who you are. You have allowed the ideas which are accepted by the general norm; and you allow it to control your life. This is similar to the movie Inception.

I find life so bored at times. However, a greater part of me WANTS to be bored. I have no idea why.

The only reason I could think of is that I want to express and the creative process requires you to be bored. I am not keen with social meetups which are meaningless. I find many social meetup to be pathetic comparison of material items or random chats about the latest relationship hookup in the group.

I am hungry for something deeper. I don’t want a mediocre and pathetic life worrying about petty stuffs.

I’m not sure if it’s right for me to let go of my social life at present, but frankly, I don’t feel I need them for now. I once had a friend tell me that we all need to go through certain stages of our lives where we would be hermits. We want to step away from others for a while.

I guess I am there. Random ramblings. It’s been long since I last wrote for myself. The past few months I had some wonderful writing jobs which came my way. But it wasn’t the writing that I want. I love to write to express – no structure, no rules.

Categories Consciousness, Creativity, Relationships, Thoughts

Why Feeling Lazy Doesn’t Really Mean You Are

May 3, 2011 //
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I have been training for a 100km run for the past 2 months or so. I really learned something valuable about embracing the “laziness” in us. There are times where I just feel like totally not running. Or in any case, just don’t feel like doing anything.

It is only normal that we all go through such situations time and time again. We feel as if we don’t feel like working or don’t feel like getting up of bed. We just want to laze around and just do nothing.

What do you do then ?

The normal tendency in almost all of us is just to force ourselves out of bed or force ourselves to work. We force ourselves to do something even if a part of us don’t feel like doing it at all. This forcing creates tension in ourselves. It makes us feel forceful. You feel confused and it feel like there is a big resistance in yourself when you force it. It makes you feel very uncomfortable.

We are all so used to doing this. I was around the same as well until recently when I realized that doing this made me extremely unhappy. Even though I have done something (be it running, working etc), if I don’t do it fully with my heart, the work seems draggy and unfulfilling.

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Then what is the way then ?

I realized that we all have two distinct energies within ourselves. One is the “doing” energy and the other, the “being” energy.

The doing energy involves us putting in effort. It means that the body wants to move or wants to be doing something.

The being energy wants to just be still, or in our case, to be lazy.

We often treat the being energy as bad. We think that being lazy is a sign that we are not being a valuable person. We are so used to working and moving. Most of us have suppressed this “being” energy within ourselves. We force ourselves to do many things.

Our society is entrenched with “doing” energy. Look around and you see people constantly on the move. We think that constant action is the way of life. We need to progress for our material wealth and so on. Our entrenchment with the doing energy is apparent with people getting bored the moment they sit down. They just can’t seem to “be”. They must always be doing something. Always be stimulated.

We need to embrace laziness as a value. There would be times where we just don’t feel like doing something. Don’t push that feeling away. Just embrace the laziness that we have in the moment. It will do away.

Laziness is also a great tool. It is because of laziness that technology was created. Human beings become lazy to walk, so they created cars. Human beings become lazy to cook, so they invented faster gadgets. All human technology centers around laziness, although human beings like to say it is for “convenience.”

When we embrace laziness, we realize there is a faster way to things. Most of us are too busy doing that we don’t just be. Being allows us to work more productively when we are “doing”.

Embrace laziness as a way of life. Critics telling you’re a bum or what?Ignore them. Most of them are just mindless workaholics who are unsure of what they are doing. Being busy their whole life and feeling important about it.

Rather, get inspired. And the best way to be inspired ?

Being lazy.

Categories Consciousness, Creativity, Mindset, Relationships

Purpose From Within

April 17, 2010 //
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I had the priviledge to mix around with a few juniors in my course in the past few days. It has been extremely nostalgic in a sense that I realized that I have been in the same position as they were in last time. Looking at them studying and talking about things really make me wonder how events have come to changed a person.

It is a funny feeling to see them worrying about their exams and studying so hard, forcing themselves to sit down and study eventhough their hearts are clearly not there. It is almost a bliss to be able  to just sit down and to observe them. Looking at them struggling and forcing themselves, I had a few questions deep within myself for which I would really like to ask them. I would like to ask them why are they struggling to study and why are they doing what they are doing.

I have never really asked anyone in depth of this question but I’m sure that most answers would range around these few:

  • Parents asking me to study.
  • How could you have fun studying.
  • I didn’t know what else to do.
  • I just need to pass and then get a secure job and then….goes on and on.

Most answers might sound different but typically they are of the same reason: A lack of understanding of themselves.

The reason might be a little “high-sounding” to many, but the reason that most people have a lack of understanding of themselves is perhaps  the best reason as to why they are giving those answers.

If we were to look around us, we realize that most of us are driven by an outer purpose.

The outer purpose are conditions which are pre-imposed by others like our parents, relative, social group and cultural conditioning. Most of us are so driven by these “forces”, that we just don’t seem to have any real power or purpose within us at all.

To relate to the situation which I just described on top, we could say that most people are in courses or living lives just trying to please these external “forces”. Most people have no idea that they are actually in this circle at all and the fact that they are driven by something outside of them.

What I am saying is not that following the outer purpose is bad. I am just emphasizing that following that outer purpose isn’t fulfilling. Deep within our souls, all of us have a form of creative expression that would want to be expressed. If we fail to express it, no matter how much money we make or be in any sort of position in the world, we would not be able to find for fulfillment.

We have to find our inner purpose. We have to develop a purpose from within.

Not something that is being developed by outside of us. Not imposed on us through fear, coercion etc.

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But the funny thing is, most people have no idea whatsoever that their drive comes from outside of them.

They are too used to being conditioned from the outside of them that it’s just hard for them to awaken. Someone who reads my writings might even not understand what I mean by being conditioned from outside of us.

It’s not my journey to find for what your inner purpose is. It’s only your duty. I have already done my inner work. I have a lot of work to be done though, although I do admit that I’m very much at peace in the moment. I am still a work-in-progress.

Take that step to find for your drive from within. You never know where you will be. You might step back and be in awe of who you are.

Categories Creativity, Happiness, Mindset, Motivation, Thoughts

Attracting Abundance

February 25, 2010 //
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I have been slowly getting what the mindset of abundance truly means now. It’s funny that I feel that understanding this concept of abundance feels even better than making money or closing a sale.

I really understand what it means deep down that you don’t attract what you want but you attract what you are. If you are someone that truly believe in the wholeness of life and of every moment, then you are said to be in a state of abundance. In fact, I even titled this blog topic wrongly (on purpose, of course) to highlight this. You can’t actually attract abundance. YOU ALREADY ARE ABUNDANT. How can you attract something which you already have? It’s only an illusion that you are not.

We have to recognize that every single moment is as perfect as it should be. We have no lack whatsoever. We do not lack anything. We are abundant as and where we are.

If we fail to recognize the fact that we are abundant, we would be constantly finding for things. That “finding” for things represents a state of lack. We do not need more money. We do not need a better car. We do not need a better job. We do not need someone in our lives to make it whole. We are already perfect and full in the moment.

We just have to acknowledge them.

Personal Experience

It’s funny to say that there always seem to be something which guides me to learn something as and when I need it. It’s this feeling that whenever I need to learn something, some situation or event would pop out which allows me to learn something. After that, there would be an epiphany.

I actually love that feeling where you know that we learn constantly from things which happen.

This has also happen in the field of my work. Whenever I feel as if I’m in a state of lack or wanting something to happen, I often feel as if my work would get tougher or no one would call me. Whenever I am in a state of abundance and fullness, I find myself receiving more phone calls and that I meet the right people at the right time.

It is this strange and unexplainable thing but it brings to me to a real concrete belief that we really do create our world. Our thoughts create the world we live in.

I would try to explain some situations about lack and abundance. After that, I will explain how to put ourselves constantly in a state of abundance.

The Feeling Of Lack

The feeling of lack is this feeling that we need something better and more now. Most of us have no idea that this becomes the driving force of many people’s lives. The feeling where we need something more. We might use different “instruments” to feel whole and better about ourselves. It might be a person or something material. That’s why our society is so ingrained in this culture of more is better, because we believe that we need more and more to feel whole.

We are all so hungry for this feeling of wholeness within ourselves that we use such “instruments” to feel better. That’s the reason why people are so ingrained in making relationship, making more money, buying more things and so on. Almost all their actions are based upon a state of lack, because of their inability to find for the wholeness in the present.

The Feeling Of Abundance

The feeling of abundance is one of the greatest feeling someone could have in their lifetime. I can rightfully say that I am in the state of abundance as I am typing this. I write without a plan and the ideas just flow out easily with effortless ease. I have no plans on how to write. I have no need for it to please anyone. I just type it out based upon what I first have in mind. So easy. It’s like I am not even here as I type.

This feeling of abundance is what all we are finding for deep down. We just fail to recognize that this is what we actually need.

It is a feeling that you know you do not need more. It is a deep knowing that your life is already full. It is this feeling where you know you do not have to worry about anything whatsoever because everything would turn out perfectly. You are completely here in the present and you do not need anything because you are already whole.

This is a state of what I call self-referral, where you do not look for things outside of you to feel better. You do not need a nice word or a praise to feel whole. You just feel good because you know you are created from a substance that feels whole and good. From something which is just abundance.

You come to a realization that you are just completely happy and fulfilled, regardless of what happens. You know that you create the reality and the reality that you choose to accept is the reality which you would experience.

You are just in the moment whatever you are doing. You do not think about the past or the future. Very often, the person who looks in the past or the future is in a state of lack. The individual feels that this moment isn’t comfortable and tries to look to the past or the future to try to make the present better.

That is why I feel there is a real spiritual approach to goals. It doesn’t matter what goals you set, but the real essence of a good goal setting is that you feel good in the process. That is the key to a good goal.

So many times I seen people setting goals which doesn’t feel good to them. They set something and fail to follow through and blame themselves completely. They fail to see that deep down, they just don’t want to achieve them. The key to a real fun-filled life is to be essentially in the state of joy, every moment.

Steps To BE Abundant

  1. Learn to let go. The key to achieving a worthy goal is to let go of us trying to force outcomes and just go with the flow of things. This definitely go against what we are taught. So many times I read books and hear from people and they say we have to work hard or have to do things we don’t like to achieve something. I just choose to disregard such advice. The key to abundance is to know that we do things with effortless ease and we don’t force outcomes. Forcing outcomes states that you are not sure about what you are doing. It’s funny that I seen it in my working world, in relationships and other areas of life. Letting go shows a confidence in the outcome.
  2. Meditation. I know that I always stress this but this is because I have a real clear reason for so. Meditation lets us understand our thought process. Understanding our thought process allows us to really see how we create things and how events happen. Besides, meditation also is a tool to let go from fighting the current. So many times I have seen people doing so much to try and fight the current of things, without realizing that this actually ends up against them. Meditation allows us to truly let go of that desire to control things.
  3. Gratitude. The practice of gratitude taps into the fullness of life. If we were to really meditate and check our thoughts, we would come to a realization that we often do things in a state of lack. We do things thinking that we have to do them or with the feeling that we need to achieve something to feel whole. Be grateful, for it brings about a state of fullness and fulfillment.
  4. Understand that abundance is truly a mindset. Abundance is not about achievement or getting something. It’s about just being in the moment. Just feeling the fullness of the moment. Is not something you go and “get”, but something you be.
  5. Study abundance. If you want to be good at anything whatsoever, study it. Study from those great teachers on how they discover abundance and what they really mean by that. It is truly a lifetime study of the great teachers that make us understand them better.
  6. Realize that abundance and fulfillment is truly not dependent upon circumstances. Circumstances refer to things that happen outside of us. It is those things like a praise or a promotion or other things which are out of our control. Abundance is an inner job. It is this feeling of wholeness and certainty that things would just unfold.
  7. I would like to end with a quote which I have been telling myself all the time. It is by John Demartini: “When the voice and the vision on the inside is more profound than the opinions on the outside, then you begin to master your life and do something magnificent and extraordinary.”

End Notes

I realize that I have been attracting abundance all my life without realizing it. Abundance does not only mean money or material items, but it also means situations, opportunities and other kind of feelings. I don’t believe that I was born with it, but I believe that the feeling has been in me since I started meditating from a pretty young age.

Abundance is what we are truly are. We don’t seek to change circumstances. We just have to change our perceptions.

Our lives is controlled by our perception and attitudes towards them.

When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.

Categories Consciousness, Creativity, Mindset
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