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The Illusion Of Happiness

February 7, 2012 //
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I haven’t been taking time to write for a long time. I would say that it has been almost half a year since I wrote a length post about a topic. During this period, I have been busy writing my book.

I have posted on this blog from time to time. However, most of them are just ramblings – writings which just come out directly from my heart. Most are short ones: updates about my life and the thoughts that run around my head on a consistent basis.

This would be a lengthier post because I feel the bliss of knowing that my book is finally done.

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Writing the book is a real learning process. It is an extremely valuable lesson in myself, what I love doing and how I come to look at my future. It is a very humbling process to know how tedious it is to write a book, however easy it is to read it.

I realize something valuable the past couple of days upon completion of my book. It dawn upon me that the end result of something isn’t truly important. In doing something, what’s most important isn’t the end result. Although we tend to work towards an end result, the result isn’t that important.

Trust me, it isn’t.

It took me almost a year to write, edit and learn about publishing books to get this book ready.

Rewind to a year back, knowing that I would be an author would be something that blow my mind away.

But now, it just seems something normal. I am not that excited anymore about it. Actually, I felt a bit down a few days ago because I didn’t understand why the excitement and motivation that I had a couple of months ago just seem to go away.

I realize that I have been caught up in this illusion: The Illusion of Happiness.

All of us get caught up in it from time to time.

The Illusion of Happiness is the belief that something in the future would make us feel better. It is the belief that when we have something or reached a certain situation; and then we will be happy.

We may believe that when we:

  • Buy that material item
  • Get that special someone
  • Reach a certain career goal
  • Gain the admiration of other people
  • Achieve our dreams
and then, we will be happy.

But it never does.

Things in the future never seem to make us happy. Never had, never will.

Even if you were to be happy from the achievement of something, it seems like the happiness is fleeting. You feel happy for a while. The next thing you know, you are looking for something else to make you ‘happy’.

This realization dawn upon me the importance of enjoying totally the steps towards something. It is the steps that matters, not the destination. Most of the time the destination seem to instead disappoint us.

I have learned to focus less on the future. I do make plans and such. But I am very flexible towards them. I also make sure that I do not invest my happiness in the future.

If I can’t be happy today, I won’t be happy tomorrow.

I have learned to be free from situations and circumstances. Happiness needs no reason. It has nothing to do with the past or the future.

Categories Emotions, Happiness, Mindset, Motivation, Success, Thoughts

The Meaning of It All

February 4, 2012 //
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I realize an extremely unsettling truth about winning and losing; gain and loss. Those means nothing at all, in essence. We just don’t realize it.

I have been feeling very distraught for no apparent reason (no valid reason actually). I should be feeling excited and happy about the fact that I have reached a milestone in my life, but it seems so trivial. It seems like just another passing day.

It is this few days that really prompted me to ask: Is this it all?

Are we all focused on a goal or a dream that we just lose track of the present? And the worse thing of all, when we achieve it, it just seems trivial. It seems meaningless.

I am feeling that now. I absolutely hate where I am now. I have done so much. Shouldn’t I be happy.

I am discovering a part of myself each day. I learn from moments like this the most. Probably it just takes time for the lesson to unfold.

Categories Thoughts

The Myth Of Perfection

January 23, 2012 //
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One important thing that I have come to learn about is to ignore perfection. I think there is a tendency for most of us to just wait until everything is alright before we do something. Or that tendency to always strive to make something perfect.

I learn this especially in the past few weeks while putting the final touches on my book.

I have learned that sometimes you can never make things a 100% perfect. Perfection is a crutch that doesn’t help us. The need for perfection is a neurotic behaviour.

If you have one of these tendencies, you have to realize them. Among the self-talk of a perfectionist behaviour include:

  • How can I further improve this thing? (It is alright to improve. But if you constantly ask yourself, it is a neurotic behaviour.)
  • The time is not right. (Actually, the time will never be right.)

I think realizing this tendency is important because I have learned to just do and don’t aim for perfection. I will work towards improving myself when I take the first step.

Excellent work is created out of first steps and the constant improvement of it. That involves improving ourselves by learning or changing our paths.

Take the first step. To hell with perfection.

Categories Thoughts

Transitions

January 11, 2012 //
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I realized that I would hit 23 this year.

I feel lucky at times that although I am 23, I have been able to know many people who are way older than me. I know some who are in their late twenties, some in their early forties and many different ages.

Those in their late twenties would be looking to settle down (with marriage and kids). Those in their early forties would be looking for retirement. We all are in transition.

The beauty about mixing around with people from different ages is that I am able to learn from what they have done. All their mistakes and the important lessons. It is a real asset to me.

As I started this year, I felt that I have grown a lot in the past few years. The person that I am may not be apparent to the people around me because the changes are from within. The changes that I have is something which is hard to measure.

I change in a sense that I am more certain about what I love doing. I learn what principles that I have in life now. I know what industry and lifestyle that I want in the near future.

Being in transitions is something unexplainable. Is hard to explain the feeling where you know that you are allowing yourself to change. I’m not controlling where I want to be. It’s more of discovering myself. I have stronger principles and better understanding of myself and what I want.

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On another note, I took a trip to the city of KL this afternoon. I didn’t feel comfortable at all with the pace of the city. I dislike the fact that the people are so in a rush.

Being in a rush is alright, but do they even know why they are rushing in the first place?

We all have preferences about the life we want to live. At the moment, that kind of life just doesn’t suit me. It’s just not me.

 

 

Categories Thoughts
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