Archives for the month of: December, 2009

It’s going to be a new decade in a few days time. I always hear people around me talking about New Year’s resolution. I don’t set new year resolutions and I just don’t see the importance of them.

I said before that I have no idea what the new decade will bring me. The only thing we can be certain of is uncertainty. It kinda makes me feel that I’m actually heading towards a new era for myself as well: working life.

I remember telling a friend at the end of last year that this year would be a breakthrough year. It has been in some way.

I have no idea what resolutions to make. I just learn from the past few months to take it slowly in life. I try to take it a day by a day. Not worrying too much for the future or being affected in the past; thus I would stay in the present.

I guess that this would be my resolution for the New Year: To just consistently stay in the present.

It’s a challenge though no doubt. I feel it will be worth it though.

Panditarama Hse Main Gone Meditation Center, Bago, Burma (Myanmar)

“Sing like no one’s listening,

love like you’ve never been hurt,

dance like nobody’s watching,

and live like its heaven on earth.”

-Mark Twain-


2009: A Year Of Travels

2009 was definitely the defining year for me in terms of how things have went. It’s weird at times that when you were to look back into the past and you realize that the person you were and the way you thought were so naive.

I was having a conversation with a friend the night before and we were talking about how we sat for SPM 4 years ago already. I was just thinking about my character and how I was during that time. It’s just amazing to actually see my character actually evolving and changing so much.

In fact if I were to look into more details into myself, I even realized that the person I was at the last year end was very different compared to the person I am now. Just a year, but the difference is actually pretty staggering. How I look at things, what are those things that are important to me; all changed in just a years time.

I remembered in a post where I said that if I were to live till 80, I have already lived a quarter of my life (since I’m 20 this year). It makes me really appreciate my time actually. Just felt like that I have a real intense need to really do something which is worth it.

This year would be definitely one of the best in my life. I was looking back and I wondered that if I were to clear my final paper a few months ago, this would be somehow like the perfect year. I am not someone who lives in the past and in “what-if” situations, so I just don’t see the need to dwell into it at all. Who knows, this might even be the best thing that had happened to me if I were to look back next time in the near future.

Of course, the major highlight of the year was my 5 months travel to New Zealand and Burma (Myanmar).

It’s pretty amazing actually to be able to really make such travels, or even thought of making such travels. The trip to Burma has especially opened up myself to more traveling experience. It had taught me how to travel as well as opened up an adventurous side of me (although I believe I was already pretty adventurous in the past). Or probably it just gave me something which I was more adventurous about: Backpacking to places as such. I especially love the meditation experience. Couldn’t imagine how much it would actually help me in my life.

I didn’t really spend a lot of my time elaborating about the first half of the year because I was just busy with studies.

That’s about it. First half of the year on studies, the second half on travels.


2000-2009:A Decade Of Confusion, Clarity and Growing Up

When I started this decade I was merely just 10 years old.

I was still in school of course, primary school to be exact. Still remember those times where all we care about was just having fun. (Note: I will teach my kids next time to don’t give a shit about school and just enjoy it.)

I remember those times when other people were so excited about the new millennium and stuffs. There were a hype about the millennium virus and such, which turned out to be nothing much.

I was in school all the way till the middle of the decade. The usual going through all those stupid exams and doing things which doesn’t really matter. I love those times mainly because of the time I have to do so many sports. To me nothing else matters but sports actually during that time.

High school was a period where you go through confusion and you have questions at times. I still remember those times when I came back from school and felt like I have heaps of emotional burden for no apparent reason. I know for a reason that parents just completely won’t know how to deal with them. It’s only now that I realize that everyone actually goes through that.

Reminds me of what my principal once told me. He said that youths normally would feel pretty uncomfortable until they reach around 17 years of age. It’s only by then that they would be used to their “skin” and start to stable down. Couldn’t agree more with him.

It was a confusing period for me. A period where I was just didn’t understand many things. I always remember myself as that, not only because of my “youth”, but because I was extremely curious. It’s that drive which actually prompt me to search for answers through books and people.

If I were to sum up what school was, it would be: Sports, Fun (Extreme fun, trust me), Confusion.

Studying wasn’t in the list at all because I just didn’t see the need for it. It’s just an amazing waste of time.

Entering college was a pretty pleasant experience for me.

I have clear memories that I wanted to do well in college so much because I just felt college was way more important than high school. Since I already used up so much time having fun in high school, having fun in college doesn’t really held any appeal to me because of its sheer importance.

Making friends in college is a pretty amazing experience though. They are not as crazy as high school friends, but they are definitely people I would say spice up college life. I guess it’s good that college friends aren’t as fanatical as high school friends though. At least I could really concentrate on my studies. I don’t think I would even pass any papers if I have friends like from high school.

It’s hard to believe that I entered college almost 4 years ago in fact. This years has been the fastest in my life actually. I didn’t felt it at all. Things definitely happen. I felt like I learned the lessons behind all the good and bad things that have happened in those years.

It was a year of ups and downs. It’s amazing that I actually have really high “ups” and really down “downs”. It’s like a total extreme.

But, life hands you situations where you have to learn from them. If you fail to learn from a situation, it’s only natural that the situation would occur again and again.

So I guess the decade is such. I would have never imagine myself wanting to summarize my decade until I heard a countdown on radio counting down those top hits of the decade. It gives you funny memories you could never imagine.


2010-2019: The New Decade

They say that if you really want to make God laugh, show him your plans.

I actually really believe this pretty much. I have goals and plans and stuffs, but I can say I’m just taking it moment by moment.

If there was a thing that I really learned from the previous decade is that I have taken a lot of time to reflect. I get a better clarity of what I want from life, who I am and really give a real think about the big questions in life. I haven’t got all the answers, but I would like to assume I am doing great at the moment.

I remember my father’s friend once told me that the fastest 10 years of your life would be from the age of 20 till 30. This decade would represent this age for me.

I learned that we have to do what are the things which are truly important to us. Youths and younger adults don’t really spend time on what’s truly essential because it’s much easier for us to do what everyone else is doing. It’s less scary.

I have no idea what to expect really. At the present moment, there are some things which I would really love doing. Things like backpacking and just learning. My work just supports them. It’s amazing that I have such an urge to learn. I feel a compelling urge to learn more. This is the best time in my age to learn. I don’t want to waste the best time of my life just going out mindlessly, being in a relationship which is immature, work which takes up all my time, negative people and all those things which doesn’t mean anything to me.

I have to be mindful of this though: Focus on the essential.

I would love to read back on this post in the year 2019 and see how different I am in 10 years. Life is really a bliss in that you never know what happen.

I bless everyone with all the happiness they can find within themselves.

Thank you for reading.

I don’t really have to perform at my best every single day, do I?

I don’t really have to do things I don’t like, do I?

Why are we conditioned to follow so many advice which are so conflicting?

Why do people set goals and get so stressed up about it?

Why do people that are laid-back often get criticized for being lazy?

What’s the use of working so hard when we just don’t feel like it?

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Why can’t we just chill?

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I want to just enjoy my life. dont give a shyte about opinions. just doing what i love. just exploring life by my own. why need so many things? why cant we just do things as and when we like to do it. why must we be responsible human beings?

why can’t we just spend time doing what we like?

fark it. im living it my way. i have doubts about it at times, but my belief in it is getting stronger.

i just need to ramble. blahhhh

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“I would rather do nothing and be happy, then do something I know I won’t love.”

I today pledge to myself that I WOULD NOT do something I do not like. Unless it’s something I love and willing to give a 100%, fark it.

I will only do something if I WANT TO.

Affirmation: I will only do something if I want to. if i want to. if i want to. if i want to. if i want to.

Nothing else. No two ways about it. fark u if u feel im stupid.

I feel so victorious now. haha.

My Key Race: Standard Chartered Kuala Lumpur Marathon


My Scheduled Races

Jan 17: Pacesetters 30km Run

Feb 6: Putrajaya Night Marathon

All those events are to built up for the key race ( Standard Chartered KL Marathon).


Other running goals

  1. Run 10km/day for a month
  2. Run 200km in a week


This is a summary for what I intend to do in the coming year for my running.

For me, running keeps me active and motivated. It gives me the kind of clarity and focus that only those who run on a consistent basis will comprehend. Besides, I also feel it is a way for me to reflect and meditate. Take up the running habit to experience it.

Wish me luck.

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