I have always enjoyed spending time alone. It’s not because that I’m a loner or that I find it hard to connect to anyone else, it’s just that over the years, I found out how important spending certain time alone would help me. It has become an absolute must to me. It allows me to charge my emotional batteries, to reflect on things that happen and to reconnect to my inner self.
Spending time alone does not mean being on the computer chatting or reading or listening to the radio or watching television. It means just giving yourself time. It means just enjoying time doing nothing. Just entertaining the thoughts that arises in your mind. There are many ways in which you could spend time alone. However, I always make sure that my time alone does not allow me contact with anyone or any stimulation .
Activities that work great for me include meditation, a good morning walk or jog and journaling.This activities allow me to listen to those inner thoughts I have within me.
However as time passed, I realised that many people actually do not actually spend time alone. Society has been so busy with “doing” and achievement that they basicly have no time to stop and spend time alone. Society thrives on “doing” and achievement.
Alone vs Lonely
There is a huge distinction between being alone and the feeling of loneliness.
Being alone is largely a decision made by someone voluntarily. You might want to be alone to reflect on things. You are alone, but the feelings of loneliness does not arise.
Loneliness is a feeling which arises from the lack of connection with the things that mean something to someone. That desired connection could be a person that means something to them. Basicly, we could be lonely although surrounded by many other individuals. This is because the feeling of loneliness does not stem from being no one around us, but not being connected with those things/people that mean something to us.
It is ironic that although we are connected more electronically in this digital world, we tend to be less connected emotionally. We have online messaging services, emails and social networking tool. However, we seem to be less connected with ourselves. We connect with others, but it is at a level where there are intermediaries and other expectations.
A Time For Reflection
There was once a research done on 50 people aged 95 and older. They were asked ” If you could live your life over what would you do differently ?” Can you guess what was the top of the list.
Those old folks said that they would spend more time reflecting. They would take time off to ask themselves on what their priorities. They would contemplate on the meaning of life, family, work and much more.
Do you spend time reflecting ? Have you asked yourself what are those things that mean something to you ? Realise that this life belongs to you.
Reflect on your self, rather than just spend time doing and going after things.
How to Spend Time Alone
I would share with you certain ways in which I spend time alone. I have learnt this from the couple of years as well as learnt about the practice of others.
- Running. This is one of my best time. I normally wake up early in the morning to run. I enjoy it because you get to listen to all the thoughts that you have within. Besides, I get to enjoy the smell of the early morning, the freshness of the air.
- Meditation. I used to do this consistently last time. It was a way in which I just still my mind. My mind became so quiet and the inner peace that comes from it is a fantastic to start your day. It gives you the fuel to go through any hard work through out the day.
- Write Your thoughts in a Journal. This has a major impact in organising my thoughts. I get to organise to know what are those emotions that I’m feeling and those emotional obstacles which I have self created. Is a good way to help “clean up” negative thoughts.
- Morning Walks. My personal favourite. I’ll be awake at 430am and would just walk. Enjoying the morning and reconnecting with nature.
- Morning Swim. I remember once when I started to swim at 6am and ended up with a cold. It was a great time though.
- Positive Affirmation. You could just sit in a corner of the room and perform some positive affirmations. Things like ” May I be happy”, ” I am well and centered.”, ” I am a major source of love.” It brings a tremendous source of optimism in your life after you practice this consistently.
- A time for Gratitude. Think of all those things you have at the present. Realise how grateful you are for having them. It could be the life you have, your health, your family, your knowledge or even your ability to read what I have to write.
- Don’t do anything. Just sit in a room and just think. Although for many people, this is hard. For many people the moment they are not doing anything, they would be uncomfortable. Negative thoughts would arise or they will suddenly think of a chore to do. Just be in the present moment.
- Start early. The early mornings are the best time to start as it is quiet and you are fresh.
Benefits of Solitude
- Recharge our emotional batteries. Society has placed so much emphasise on success now that we just have to balance with so many other pursuits. We are expected to be great parents, children, students, managers, community volunteers; all at the same time. This large expectation at times drain us emotionally, making us feel very negative. Use this solitude time to feed yourself with positive thoughts and postive feelings.
- Know if we are going on the right path. Many times we are so busy with doing things, that we fail to stop and ask ourselves: What is all this busyness for ? Are they really what we want ? or are just spending time on them because society thinks is important or are they imposed by your parents’ limited beliefs ? Are we climbing the right mountains ? Are we going after those things that mean something to us ? Do you feel that after all the hard work is done, you’ll be really happy ? Reflect on them.
- Connect to our inner self. At times when we had to deal with and mix with so many people, we get so mixed up with other people’s beliefs and perceptions about things. We are covered with so many layers of the perception of others. Solitude helps us to reconnect to our inner self and to realise our true beliefs and perception about things.
- Improve our days. You could also reflect on what has happened on your day and realise how things work. Realise how you could do better the next day. What could you improve on tomorrow ?
