Rules Of Work
One thing I have always felt fortunate to have is the experience of having friends who are much older than me. Working individuals who have experienced full-fledged working life.
As I have yet to work, I often wonder how would it be like. The feeling of having to be on time to work, of having to work a certain number of hours, of having to consistently listen to someone else telling you what to do. They often talk about having this negative connotation when it comes to work, especially when they tell me to enjoy my college life and tell me that college life would often be a bliss if compared to the working world.
Of Being Miserable And Fearful
I often wonder why people often have such negative connotation when if comes to working. I always look at those working group and they look so miserable. They talk in such a way as if they have no choice but to stay in their field of work.
They seem to sound like they are being confined or stuck in a prison jail. I realise that these individuals who work often have this incredible ability to complain about their companies and their superiors, but don’t really solve any of their problems. They just love to whine and complain, but not do anything to improve the situation.
Somehow or another, I just feel that this is often a self-created jail created by themselves. We live in a free society. We could make the choices we want in life, to live the life we deserve and the life we want, not conform to want we do not want. It took me sometime to realise, but the huge change came after a life changing event I had a few years back. It taught me that life is precious and I could no longer be one of “them”.
My Choice
I choose not to be miserable in my life. I choose not to be in something that I do not feel happy at. I choose to not live my life based on fear. Based on pleasing other people to gain acceptance. I choose to live my life on my own terms.
It then began to dawn on me that there are certain things than I would want in my future career. I began searching for answers of the kind of career which I want.
Amazingly, I started stumbling upon different ideas upon it. I managed to learn about the speech Steve Jobs gave in Stanford University and I really liked the way he talked about “finding what you love.” (View here) Read more »
Dear Mum, Dear Dad
Dear Mum, Dear Dad,
I write this not because I want to prove my point. I write this not because I want to be rebellious. I write this not because I want to go against your wishes. I write this because I need to express. I write this because I need you to know certain things.
I know that certain things I do would be hard for you to understand, but trust me, I’m looking furthur ahead than you ever think I could. I’m looking at a prize which furthur impresses you. You might have been right to put emphasizes into certain things like studies and academic successes. But, I know deeper to say that there are certain things which are so much deeper to me which I want. My eyes are fixed on a far bigger goal. A goal which once achieve will blow my mind. To be able to find for something which I live for, to be able to take a bullet in my chest for it.
I have reached a certain stage where I know that I do not intend to please you. I love you, but I do not intend to show it by pleasing you. I have observed this world of ours and know that many individuals are not living their life as they want. I do not intend to be like them. Read more »
Book Excerpt: Tuesdays With Morrie
This excerpt is taken from Tuesdays With Morrie written by Mitch Albom. One of those books which are simple to read, yet profound in meaning.
**********
“Have I told you about the tension of opposites?” he says.
The tension of opposites?
“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
“A tension of the opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us life somewhere in the middle.”
Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.
“A wrestling match.” He laughs. “Yes, you could describe life that way.”
So which side wins, I ask?
“Which side wins?”
He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.
“Love wins. Love always wins.”
**********
Success Is Self-Defined
We all have an illusion of what success is. An illusion that is set about by society. Society have set about standards about what you must do to be defined as a success. It is through this illusion that many of us get trapped into. Society places so much emphasise on money, on youth, on being able to contribute to society, on looking better, on having a “high title.”
I am not in the position to say that these emphasises are bad, I am just implying that if they are achieved with the intention to please others, it would be of little importance. Society have defined success in such a way in which we rank our material wealth, our status and through other standards. Throughout the years, I have slowly realised what this has done to individuals. It has slowly begin to dawn on them that the need to please others and society is so important that they even forgo what is most important to them to fulfill what is most important to be a part of society. That people-pleasing culture.
Many people which I happen to know personally happen to go for a goal (i.e material success) with so much persistance, that when once they have achieved it, the “so what” syndrome arises. The feeling where after we worked so hard for something, we wonder why did we ever go after it at the first place. I always feel that the answer to that issue is because they knew it consciously or subconsciously, by achieving that particular goal, it would please others. Achieving goals like being good in studies, being financially secure, holding a high position in a company, having a big house.
I heard of a saying that ” Success without fulfillment is failure. “
How true is that. What is the use of us achieving a certain goal if we are not happy at all ? Or probably for someone else to be happy ?
That why it comes back to the topic, for which I believe success is self-defined. The ability to express ourselves in a way which we want. We have to set about what are those things which are truly important to us. Those things deep down which are of utmost important to us. Not placed about by society, by our parents, by our peers, by our teachers. Only by ourselves.
To be able to express ourselves fully. To be able to wake up each morning with the zest for life. To be able to go after success which really fulfills us.
It takes some time to really think about it, no doubt. But is worth it. Life’s a brief candle, as the saying goes.
19 April 2009-My Gratitude Practice
I am sitting at my table. Just sitting and thinking, something I do best. Listening to some Michael Buble.
Not doing anything productive, just relaxing and letting it be. Thinking about what are those things that mean something to me. Things that I really want to achieve deep down. What is the impact that I want to leave in my life. What are those things I really want to spend my time on.
Nothing productive, just thinking. But, I realise how much it helps me to set a direction in my life. How it helps clarify certain things in life. To centre myself. Just knowing what is important to ME.
I am grateful though. I am grateful for so many things I have at the present moment.
I am grateful for the great dinner I just had.
I am grateful to the many different people who share with me so many experiences and guided me in so many ways.
I am grateful the joyful day that I had doing sports and exercising.
I am grateful for the ability to learn so many different things.
I am grateful for the love I have for learning.
I am grateful for being able to access so many different sources of knowledge.
I am grateful for life. Read more »
Being Busy. So what ?
I was having this conversation with a friend last night. We got to a point when she was wondering how busy she was with her life, that she do not have the time to reflect on the things which are important to her. It got me to a point where I wonder that why many people love to be busy. They might not realise it, but to me many people prefer being busy than free from responsibilities.
Maybe we’re simply being addicted to being busy. After all, the busier we look, the more we are valued. We often compare the amount of emails you have, or the amount of calls we have, or the social outings we have. This mania makes us feel important. But it also makes us feel over-strectched, desperate, superficial and angry.
With the rise in technology, our lives are getting faster and faster. Somewhere along those lines, we have confused overwork with self-worth. And I wonder what we are gaining as individuals and society as a whole.
We all have choices in life, but instead we feel better when we are put in a trap of being busy. Our society thrives on being busy because that is what our self worth come from. “Not noticing” what is driving our life (that part of us which wants to be a part of society)- leads to a situation where we live as though we had no real choices.
But, is it true ?
How are you choosing to live your life ? How do you value your own life ? What do you use to value the success you want from your life ?
What are we busy for ? What are we going after ?
I would want to share my opinion about how to create the life we all deserve in the next few days.
thank you
Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
View it here
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. Read more »
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